


Dreamless in Early Graves

by gayunsolved



Category: Game Grumps, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: BIG ASS TRIGGER WARNING, Extremely short and excruciatingly painful, I just needed to cry, Like a needle?, M/M, Sad sad sad, you got yourself into this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-07-10 22:25:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15958835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayunsolved/pseuds/gayunsolved
Summary: Sometimes confessions come too late.





	Dreamless in Early Graves

**Author's Note:**

> Title from A Match Into Water by Pierce the Veil.   
> This fic is the product of me having a bad weekend and a bad mind.
> 
> And yes, I did write this instead of writing the rest of Starving Faithful and a sequel to I Only Need One Hand to Drive. I know, I'm the worst.

“Every single second I spent sitting next to you on that couch was like heaven. You held some sort of ethereal warmth in that beautiful body of yours. I...You always felt like, like home to me.” 

Seconds turned to minutes, slipping into nothingness. 

“I’ll never forget your laugh, the way y-you tried not to snort but it ended up happening anyway, and I loved it, as much as you hated it. Your laugh was so loud, so perfect and reckless, like you...like you. I couldn’t always make you laugh, though I wish I could have. I could, could make inconsequential jokes and pretend like it was enough. It wasn’t enough. I wasn’t enough, and I wish I could have been...” 

Deep breaths collide with cold air and the room is stifling. 

“The second I saw you for the first time, I couldn’t breathe. I drowned instantly in your aura. I lived three years gasping for breath each time we locked eyes or brushed hands and it was...just perfectly torturous. I dreamed about you night after night and just as I thought I should give up...” 

Memories flood back, forcing tears from seaglass eyes. 

“It was the night that...that everyone else had gone home but you and I...and the power went out. You were so scared...god, you were shaking, I was clueless. I held you and you told me...”

A mouth opens, but no words come out. Sobs take over a body once full of joy. 

“After that...after that we were, god, we were unstoppable. I thought things were better then, that you were better then. I was stupid, you were perfect. I’m so sorry. I loved you more than anything I could ever know. More than I loved anyone.”

Silence is a weapon and a room full of people all feel its sharpness. 

“When celebrities die, uh, people are always...so quick to say ‘talk to people, you know, check on them’ and, they’re right but...there’s more than that. I talked to you for hours every day...we, we all did. You slept next to me, oh god, I’m sorry, I...” 

Hands shake, heart barely holding on. 

“I could have saved you. I could be holding you right now. But I made some irreparable mistake somewhere and...and I’m so sorry. Ross, you were the light in the pitch black of my listless life. Ross, your name weighs a thousand tons on my tongue. Ross, Ross, Ross. I’m so sorry.” 

Barry stepped back from the microphone, faltering in his step as he lurched towards the coffin. Warm hands, Arin’s, steadied his body. Overcome with hurt, he stumbled to the mahogany vessel containing his beloved. Knees hitting the cold floor, he let his forehead rest against the lifeless wood. “Ross.” His voice was a whisper, hoarse and drenched with grief. “Why didn’t you let me save you?”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry. Also, it isn't specified in the fic, but I wrote it with the idea that Ross had killed himself, not that he had been killed. Sorry if it's not clear.   
> More happy/smutty stuff coming eventually!


End file.
